It's Complicated

"Behind our front door we don't think in steps. We think not in half. We think merely in love. We are family."

An impromptu drive after dinner with my younger brother and sister spawned an interesting conversation ending with "yeah, it's confusing and complicated."
After obtaining our ice cream, because it's a fundamental food group, my siblings piled into my car and I prepared for our normal jam session on the way home, which is basically me serenading them and my sister telling me how she is surprised I'm not deaf from how loud my music is. Anyway, the conversation took a random turn by my 7 year old brother.

We had yet to even leave the parking lot when he speaks up,

"Tay, when you go to your Mom's, why do you leave?"

His question left me stumped, didn't he just answer that in the question itself?
I looked at my sister but only received a shake of her head in help. I simply responded with that same statement, I go to my Mom's house to see her... He followed up with many questions:

"Wait so we don't have the same parents?"

"Oh, we have the same Dad but different Moms. Wait, what is your mom to me?"

"Are we not siblings?"

"So we are half siblings not step?"

"Are your other siblings my siblings?"

There were many more, keep in mind this drive is only, at max, a total of five minutes. It was after joking about it with my sister that I realized how confusing it really can be, it's not like it's something you sit down and have a conversation about.
The whole thing is a lot and it has a lot of moving parts to consider. Even for some adults it can be a confusing concept.
One thing that makes it even more dynamic is my siblings are not half, I mean they are but not in my heart. I know, I know how cliche but hear me out: how can you love someone halfway? You can't, love is vast and all encompassing.
It can even be stressful at times, for me it has always been something difficult, not due from lack of love, far from it but from feeling alone in that love. Confusing I know. I have been very blessed with the amount of love and family I have gained, but I was an only child of my parents, meaning that I never had someone making the "kid drop off" with, I never had someone who understood exactly how I was feeling. It wasn't until I was 7 and my Dad and Sarah had L that I got to experience what being a sister meant and then I gained Ro.
Then my Mom got married and I gain Rose and Harp.
I found that being a sister was amazing and that they became part of my life right when I needed them.
My siblings keep me grounded. L, we are closest in age (7 years apart so close is relative) and now she comes to me for advice or just someone to talk to, its kinda really cool.
My family tree happens to have a lot of branches and lot of love something I am grateful for.
The onslaught of questions from Ro reminded me that my normal isn't everyone else's normal, its not even the normal for my sisters and brother. I have my own path, I had a path I had to learn to navigate and share with others. Maybe from your view it's a complicated, unkept path but from mine it's paved and well kept with love.
I'm learning the best way to know those around you is to listen to their whole story not just the piece your apart of. It's also important to remind yourself of where you've come from and where you're going.